Saturday, March 9, 2013

Bum Dr

Thursday was the first time ever than I have not eaten a single thing for an entire day. I didn't know that was possible, I realise I sound like the spoilt brat I am, I know people go hungry every day but I feel light headed if I haven't eaten for 30 minutes and I couldn't comprehend an entire day of no food. 
Anyway, it took SO much will power but when you're paying, what turned out to be $1250 for a camera up the butt it does provide some motivation to make sure you do what you're supposed to do and do it well! It's not like I could have cheated and got away with it right?! I wonder how many people do cheat, I mean there must be a LOT, I'm going to ask the Dr when I go for my check up in 3 weeks :D

The front cover of Times magazine that I picked up in the waiting room. Oh the irony.

Long story short (get comfy, we know by now I not capable of an abridged version) I drank a gallon of the most vile tasting stuff all afternoon Thursday and almost instantly what went in my mouth came out my.... you get the picture. It wasn't pleasant but wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have my Kindergarteners open house at 5:30. Great. My husband is offshore so I am on single parent duty for 3 weeks. We decided to walk - seriously do I have anything between my ears at all? I got through it unscathed, just had to put on a bit of a bust of speed on the walk (waddle) home to avert disaster.

My kids asked why I was going to the dr's, so I told them. They didn't believe me at first, what does it say about me that my kids think I'd make something like that up? Anyway, once they were convinced they found it just about the funniest thing they'd ever heard. I asked that they not tell anyone, private family stuff, so of course my eldest told everyone at his table the next day at school. Apparently it's 'totally gross' ha!

We were all up at 5am and my mum drove us all to the hospital that is around 40 mins away, she was on school run duty. It's handy having parents that live close by....sometimes. 

I was seen fairly quickly, got into the gown (nice) and lay down on the bed. It's kind of sad that this was one of the most relaxing mornings I've had for years, no kids, no one demanding anything of me and me being the one on the receiving end of a lot of care and attention. I could have a colonoscopy every month and enjoy it! 
Of course cue my period to start right then, and the ridiculousness of me being worried that they were going to see. Emmm they're going to see a whole lot worse than that :s
The Dr doing the deed came in and said 'you never told me you know *****, he said you're a crazy runner'. Yes, great so nice to meet a friend of a friend when he's about to stick something up your bum. Honestly, not weird at all. Then the conversation turned to running and the fact that 3:01 means I must be 'virtually world class' that made me laugh! 'Not quite' hahahaha! I felt like a little bit of a super star, a complete fraud but hey it still felt kind of good. 
Then I was told that I'd be out for only a very short time. Hold the phone, say what?! I'm getting knocked out?????? I have never been unconscious before and was very nervous at the thought. I asked if it was necessary. I think they thought I was insane, I was told I didn't want to be awake during this but really it can't be any harder than child birth right? After a bit of a discussion I agreed and I watched the sleeping potion go in and then I was out.
What felt like seconds later I was woken up by the nurse and felt the best heavy sleep EVER still surrounding me. That is some good ****! Can I go again, please, can I go again?! Ha

The upshot was they removed a polyp (no biggie) and cauterised some internal haemorrhoids that had been causing the bleeding. Other than that, a clean bill of health. 

He suggested a 'good bacteria' pill once a day to help with what he described as the 'runners diarrhoea'. 

I am happy I can now separate the two issues. I didn't know if the blood and sore stomach/having to stop all the time were related and indicative of something more serious. They are not on both counts. So the bleeding has been dealt with, now I need to work on my diet to help my tummy. I have a feeling the oatmeal and/or milk that I eat every morning might be an issue so have eliminated both and we'll see if that helps. I was good before long runs, cutting out dairy and high fibre 24h's before but got lazy and now every run is a long run and so I have to face up to making the change permanently. 

I wasn't supposed to drive for the rest of the day but had to go get the kids from school and then stop off at the dr's for my 4 year old who had a temperature and sore ear. I was a bit spaced out and think I enjoyed the sleeping potion for most of the day yesterday! 
No long run this morning but will go tomorrow, I might get to enjoy a trouble free run if my oatmeal/milk hunch is right - how great would that be great!

I other news, I entered the lottery on Tuesday for the Chicago marathon. Their system crashed during the regular sign up so they decided to allocate the remaining 15,000 through a random lottery process. I have a feeling I might have mentioned this is my last post, not sure? Anyhoo fingers crossed I get a spot, I do hope so. If I do then I can begin to panic about leaving the kids for the 1st time ever, well there was that night in the hotel before Houston but getting on a plane and leaving them for 2 nights? eek! Will find out on Tuesday, if not I need a plan B because I have some serious low 2:50 business to take care of.

Got some gear for the running group I am very proud to be part of, some for my best cheerleaders too!

Other than that nothing much planned for the summer, it's too hot here for racing. I think I might do at least one sprint tri as a gift to myself to break up the summer. I wont train for the swim or bike sections, I just like getting out of my comfort zone to remind myself how wonderful my comfort zone is. 

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